What makes a child confident? You know the ones-you see them walk with an air about themselves. Other children are drawn to them. They exude confidence, well-being and strength. So, how are they different? Why do they “get it” and others do not?
When I think of the children who are confident in words, appearance and style, happy children come to mind. As a parent, teacher and healer I have had many opportunities to meet these wonderful kids. Honestly, I think they are supported by parents or significant adults who are consistently giving them a message of support. The parents catch the kids being good and then TELL them about it in the most supportive, memorable way. Then these kids actually FEEL good and that GOOD
FEELING permeates their beings, drawing others to them who are also happy kids. It is somewhat charismatic in nature. Parents or a significant adult also can listen and guide their children. I was always so proud that my children were kind to others and I felt as a teacher, I was consistently modeling kindness and encouraging it within the daily classroom environment.
Things aren’t always easy though. I know this, having had the fulfilling role of parenting my terrific daughter and son. Creating a confident child to me meant that I would encourage their own thinking, creativity and ingenuity. We had many a discussion about their different viewpoints and the viewpoints of their friends as well as sharing a parental perspective. I also felt that most topics were not off limits-thought there were boundaries, but they could ask me nearly anything. I believed (and still do ) in sharing family events and issues as much as their age limit was able to comprehend. My kids often shared issues with me and came to me for guidance. But it was not without challenges. There were moments when my strong-minded confident children turned to a bubble of confusion when faced with extreme peer pressure.
Still a motivator in society, peer alignment can be the determining factor that sways a child/teen to actually perform in a way that is inconsistent with their nature. THAT is where the confidence you have taught them comes into play. It will be THAT factor that stops the decision to be completely swayed in perhaps the wrong direction.
Do we have great challenges as parents AND children to remain confident in the face of obstacles? Absolutely. Will the support, communication and reinforcement of kindness and encouragement of new ideas help? Absolutely.
‘Till the next time-Rosie